Did you see a recent TV commercial for Sizzler? The chef stands behind some great-looking steaks and tells us that they’re all “grilled to perfection.”nIn my opinion, the advertising copywriter who wrote that spot stopped thinking and went on autopilot. You see, “grilled to perfection” is a cliché we’ve heard a thousand times and it should never have found a way into the commercial. The copywriter was paid to come up with something fresh, not a banal retread.nOr what about the other food-related cliché that’s recycled in just about every other food ad: ” It’s a delicate blend of herbs and spices.” (How come it’s never a delicate blend of spices and herbs?)nThe reason that clichés are used so frequently is that they make the copywriter’s life a whole lot easier. You don’t have to think. You just plug in the familiar module, punch the time clock, and go home. Of course, flabby writing turns readers off and ultimately cuts response rates. That’s why you should make sure all your marketing copy is fresh, tight, and brimming with personality.nThis is particularly important in high tech where it’s incredibly easy to use jargon and omit the real benefits. For instance, how many times have you seen:n”We’ll help you increase productivity,” or ” We offer a scalable solution,” or how about “Our product is easy to use,” or “Our interface is intuitive?” Been there. Done that.nIt would be a lot better to really dig in and explain the benefits, rather than rely on clichés that we’ve all seen countless times. In fact, you should always be on the lookout for ways to say things in a new or better way.nLet me give you an example. Some time ago Hewlett-Packard sent out a direct mail package. On the response card, HP wanted to ask a bunch of qualifying questions. The little line they had been using to set up the question module was, logically enough: “Answer the following questions.” To me, that had a pushy quality about it. Abrupt. Unpolished. Instead, I substituted the following lines:n”We’d like to get to know you better.nPlease take just a moment and answer the following questions. It would really help us meet your needs better in the future. Thank you!”nNo big deal. We’re talking about a few words on the Response Card. What I’m trying to illustrate is that you can try to give things a little personality, avoid clichés, and connect with your reader. It takes some work and a little thought, but it’s well worth the effort!nIvan Levison is an award-winning, direct response freelance copywriter. Download a free copy of his new report, “101 Ways To Double Your Response Rates!” at http://www.levison.com/subscribe. Contact Ivan any time at ivan@levison.com
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